Easy to Smile

I’ve always had this problem, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, but it does seem to put me at a disadvantage in social situations. The problem is that I don’t smile.

Now I’m sure this is not an uncommon problem. There must be thousands of people like me who also have trouble expressing their joy in a conventional way. My brothers and sisters in seeming misery. So why is it always me that finds myself in those awkward social situations?

It happened this weekend at a club. I was minding my own business having a chat with one of my normal smiling friends, when a girl walks past and says “Cheer up and give us a smile”. Hang on, just because I’m not smiling it doesn’t mean I’m not happy. I just choose to express my happiness differently. She goes on, “It could be worse”. What could be worse? I’M NOT UNHAPPY. In fact if there’s one thing guaranteed to ruin my mood, it’s someone accusing me of being in a bad mood.

Now, this happens quite a lot and the conversation is always pretty much the same. In my head it goes like this:

Her: Give us a smile, it’s not that bad
Me: Yeah, I get that a lot
Her: Really? So why don’t you smile more then?
Me: I may look miserable, but underneath this scowl I’m really interesting and fun
Her: Wow, you’re really deep and complex. Let’s party

But invariably it tends to go something like this:

Her: Give us a smile, it’s not that bad
Me: *forces creepy false smile*
Me: *mumbles something incoherent*
Me: *runs away*

This happens probably because I’m neither interesting or fun, but nonetheless I’m not unhappy. OK, so I used to dress in black a lot when I was younger, and I like bands traditionally considered depressing. But I don’t find Nick Cave or Leonard Cohen or The Smiths or The Cure remotely depressing. If I did I wouldn’t listen to them. I don’t take pleasure in making myself unnecessarily unhappy. To me they’re uplifting and inspiring. I have more trouble with your average teenybopper boy band and talent show one-hit-wonder. To me, that is truly depressing.

I guess I just have one of those faces. I don’t walk around under a black cartoon raincloud, and I’m not always full of doom and gloom. I JUST DON’T SMILE. And that’s the problem. So get off my back and leave me be. All I ask is that I am allowed to go out and have a good time, without having to look like I’m enjoying myself. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. If you can do that, you never know, you might just make me smile.